Thirteen

I was only thirteen when I first experienced it with my own eyes. Sometimes I wonder if I started doing it because she did. She would tell me she was going to hang out with Jennifer, her friend, when she would run out the door late at night. I knew she was up to something else because she would take her time doing her hair and make-up and wear all these beautiful short dresses.

Then one day a safe showed up in her room and that is when I figured out what she was up to all these nights. I knew she lied to me but I did not know how to confront her about it. I knew she was doing it for all the right reasons. We were broke, living in a trailer and she still had four kids to raise after we left my abusive father. The night she told me the truth, me and my sister were sitting in the car, me in the front seat and my sister in the back. I just sat there not knowing how to feel or what to say.

“I just told you I lied to you. Say something. Cry. Do something,” my mom said.

“I already knew, Mom, I knew practically this whole time,” I said.

“I am so sorry, baby. I hate keeping secrets from you,” she said.

I then told her, “I forgive you and it is okay. I still love you, Mom, and I always will.”

By the time I was seventeen, I was back in my dad’s custody, living with him, my stepmom, and my little sister. I graduated high school one year early and ten days later I ran away to Seattle to work for this pimp and this other girl. I was just so depressed and miserable, I took what chance I had to get out.

A month and a half later after working for them the FBI found me in this hotel. I was in Juvie for three weeks in Seattle until I was transferred to the Juvenile Detention Center in Idabo. I was raised in a small town fifteen minutes from CDA called Post Falls. I was released to this shelter in Seattle after I got out of that Juvie. I did not go back to work for that same guy but I did go back into the life by myself. I want to get out but the money calls me back every time. I am now back in the Juvie in Seattle and when I get out I hope I can get help. I see a bigger and better future for myself.