My First Time

It’s my first time locked up, caged up & it’s f-d up.

Observing all the staff and people in my hall.

Every other thing we come back and stare at the wall.

Everything makes me mad, but speak and it’s a write up.

Ya know the other day these people had me f-d up.

I was like a volcano ready to erupt.

When the door closed it was like an explosion.

Everything in high speed motion.

I couldn’t breathe. It all just came out.

Everything became my punching bag, even myself.

The walls closed in on me.

These walls could see and were coming for me.

Suffocating unable to relax.

My anger set all the way to the max.

I still couldn’t breathe, fiending for fresh air.

But all these staff, they didn’t care.

In a blink of an eye the room turned cold and dark.

I awoke in a puddle of drool

My arms weak and legs shaking, unable to move.

I just laid there drowning in my own spit and tears.

It was like a bad dream only I didn’t wake up from it because it was just beginning.

I lay there crying silently, thinking out loud quietly.

Being here, you’re pushed into a box whether you fit or not.

I’m going to be here for the long run, have to make the most of it.

The most of a bad situation.

I brought myself here.

I can’t complain.

I don’t have the right to shed a tear